Pakenham Village Tributes : Dee van der Wieken

Born 1922 Died 2013 and laid peacefully to rest in Pakenham Parish Cemetery next to her husband Ray on Monday 22nd April.

Dee, to those who knew her locally was a cheerful lady known for her humour and honesty.

"A feisty woman with strong opinions, unfettered by political correctness - she spoke as she saw. She was of a very tough and courageous generation who gave up their youth to protect this country. They are leaving us, one by one, and we owe them our gratitude." - Daughters Sue and Kate.

This is a story of true love. Love so deep it never wavered whatever course it took. Born in 1922 and growing up in Welling Kent the youngest daughter of a postman and a housekeeper, she met Ray or Van as she always called him before the Second World War and they would meet under Cleopatra's Needle on the Embankment, and walk to a concert or ballet, seeing a young Fonteyn dancing at Saddlers Wells.

Dee and Van married in 1940 and as Van was a territorial he was whisked away at very short notice to serve in India and Burma. Dee stayed in London working for the Army. Dee and Van were apart for three and one half years, neither knowing if they would survive the next day, or even see each other again.

In 1945 Dee, like so many others had a wartime romance, and gave birth to her son John, whom she gave up for adoption. A decision which must have caused untold anguish.

Dee kept this secret all her life, but it is known that she thought of him every day. She would have been hugely proud of the warm talented man he became and the successful life he forged. John and his wife found Dee and his sisters after 61 years to complete their family picture. A reunited family, a brother with two sisters and two sisters with a brother.

Van came home in 1946 and the two changed young people got to know each other again. Sue was born in London and with their family started Dee and Van moved to the peace and tranquillity of Pakenham, Suffolk and Walnut Tree Cottage where Kate was born and which would be their home for the next half century, enjoying life together, lots of fun, playing practical jokes with one another with giggles and joy for all the family and enjoying all the wild flowers and birds of the special place that Walnut Tree Cottage was.

The final years of Van's life were long and difficult for both Van and Dee, with Dee always there for him and caring for him until his death. Unfortunately just two years after Van died, Dee herself was struck down by a catastrophic stroke which lefl her motionless in bed for six years.

Stowlangtoft Hall has been her home for the whole of that time, where she has been looked after with cheerfulness, affection and love.
Sue, Kate and their families cannot express their gratitude to Stowlangtoft Hall enough for all their care and love during those long years of helplessness for Dee.

Thanks to Kate and Sue for their memories.
The one thing that Dee and Van left in legacy is that True Love Conquers All.

PV&CN - June 2013